Transitioning from Homemaker to Working Mom

By Dayna E. Mazzuca

After 17 years at home raising four children, my girlfriend Anne (not her real name) has taught me practically everything I know about being a new stay-at-home mom. Recently, the shoe was on the other foot. She had a few questions for me about what it took to succeed in the workplace.

With almost three quarters of North American women working outside the home, Anne is not alone in her efforts to navigate the rocky waters of the modern workplace. I shared three keys to survival I learned on-the-job: be professional, maintain poise and persevere until 5 p.m.

Many of us like to believe that people accept us for who we are; we like to keep our relationships open and honest; and we like to let someone know when we're having a bad day. These are not bad traits. But the workplace is largely competitive and its corporate nature means personal contributions don't amount to much when it comes to cutting costs.

This can be confusing and even painful, especially for women who have spent a number of years as a full-time mom.

We can, however, learn to gracefully establish different boundaries at work and home.

Professionalism and Poise in the Workplace

Christine Kupilik, a part-time health care professional in Edmonton, experiences a "cooperative and caring" environment at home. At work, there is pressure to perform. "Work is a place of employment. Home is where the heart is," says Kupilik. Two worlds: two sets of rules.

Professionalism, for instance, can mean something as basic as keeping our thoughts to ourselves. After a year on the job, Anne discovered, to her dismay, that what she shares with one colleague could easily make its way to the ears of someone else, who may have the ear of the boss. She realized she did not have the same opportunity at work to "make amends" if necessary, as she did at home with her family. "You need to remember the boundaries and to watch your words," says Anne.

Professionalism and poise are also conveyed through personal body image and dress, says consultant Joanne Blake. First impressions, how we shake someone's hand and the way we carry on a conversation all make a difference in how we are perceived in the workplace, says Blake, co-owner of Style for Success. While this may sound shallow, numerous studies back up these observations. First impressions can easily lead to weightier things like trust, respect and authority - all of which affect success in the workplace.

Again, these are not typical considerations for the stay-at-home mom. "Good posture, strong eye contact, and a firm handshake…for those that have been away from the workplace these skills may have become rusty," says Blake. "It's about re-learning and practicing these skills at every opportunity."

Blake suggests taking style cues from the top 25 per cent of our peers and tailoring a look to fit our own personality. This helps exude a professional attitude, but also helps us feel more confident and at ease, which helps to put others at ease to get the job done.

Perseverance in the Workplace

Getting the job done is important. This is especially true for women, who still earn less than men (63.6 per cent in Canada and 76.9 per cent in the U.S., according to a TD Economics report released last September) and occupy fewer managerial positions. This means that what we produce is evaluated (i.e. happy customers, sales quota, bright students, healthy patients or designs that win awards).

Of course, we're not always going to produce award-winning reports or have a stellar day on the job. Some days we're going to long for that extra cup of coffee in the morning, or those glory days of freedom to crash on the couch while our kids went to Nanna's house. Some days we'd trade in the house for one more hour in the tub. Perhaps we pine for those long afternoons spent walking by the river. As stay-at-home moms, there are trials and lots of challenges, but also blissful moments of relaxation and indulgence.

At work, however, we must persevere - and smile. Even when things don't go our way, or our idea flops, or a year's worth of work on a redesign goes out the window with the advent of a new boss - we smile, or at least take it in stride. Perseverance in the workplace does not mean putting on a plastic face, it means seeing things through to the end.

Some days, that means making it until 5 p.m. or later, without grumbling, complaining or blaming management for whatever has, indeed, gone south. Some days it means choosing to put our best foot forward, regardless of the direction the project (or its proponent) is heading. And, some days it means reevaluating our place in the bigger picture, and hanging in until God makes a way out, or reveals another direction for us to take.

Again, this is a different skill than the one we learn at home, which is to take a more active role. At home, someone typically calls us "Mom." We know our place, and for the most part, we call the shots - or at least have significant input.

In the workplace, it's not always easy to find our place. It's not easy to recognize the real power brokers; or figure out when to speak up and when to keep quiet. It's not easy being the new person in the lunchroom (or boardroom). This is when following the rules is a great defense. Be professional. Maintain poise. Persevere. And, in the end, you will most likely gain greater influence and success.

Regardless of the season of life (or work), remember to look up for your strength, as God promises to be with us. In Psalm 139 we read, "You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways… Where can I go from your Spirit?" At home and at work, we can be sure we are not alone.
 

Dayna E. Mazzuca, BA, JA is a writer, editor, creative consultant and workshop facilitator with Gilead House Communications. She can be reached at: dayna@gileadhouse.ca